SEPTEMBER 2019

Business Tips:

15 Invaluable Laws of Growth

Our management is doing a new study on the John Maxwell curriculum with the book called the 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth. We recommend you pick up a copy or listen to it online if you have the technology to do so. We will be exploring these laws as a team this year.

              The goal in the study is to help each of us learn how to grow and develop ourselves so we have the best chance of becoming the person we were created to be.

~ The Law of Trade offs and Curiosity ~

              TRADE OFFS - You have to give up to go up. What are the pluses and minus of the trade off? Will I go or grow through the change? The loss of trade offs are usually felt before the win. Most trade offs can happen at any time. The higher you climb, the tougher the trade offs. At the bottom we change because of desperation. As we climb, we change for inspiration. Desperation is a higher motivator than inspiration. Only through the wise and wide exchange of trade offs can we reach our potential. The day you stop making trade offs is the day you truly start to die.

              CURIOSITY - Growth is driven by wanting to learn more. There is nothing new under the sun, but there are lots of old things we don’t know. It is a state for someone who wants to know more. The value of curiosity is greater than its thirst to learn. Curiosity is directly linked to imagination and creativity. They all explore territory beyond the ordinary, enhance thinking, explore possibilities, experience understanding. Curiosity creates more questions, imagination creates more options, creates more solutions. How to cultivate it? Have a beginner’s mindset – go after it. Learn something new every day. Make failure your friend. Stop looking for the right answer. There is always more than one solution to a problem. To buy into the only one right answer is to stop the search for more and better ones. The right answer or the best one can become better. Get out of the box.

Personal Tips:

~ Resolution 10: ~

RESOLVE TO DEVELOP THE ART & SCIENCE OF CONFLICT RESOLUTION:

I know that relationship bombs and unresolved conflicts destroy a community’s unity and growth. Conflict, like fire, is easier to snuff out when it’s small but can become nearly impossible to handle when allowed to spread unchecked. Imagine, before going to bed, a person glances at a corner and notices a small flame flickering; hopefully, he wouldn’t choose to ignore it until the next morning because he surely wouldn’t have a house by then. Likewise, ignoring conflict is foolish, as a person might lose his relationships if he is unwilling to address conflict when it arises.

Imperfect People Have Imperfect Relationships - Even when leaders are operating with character, conflicts still arise. Human beings are capable of so much good but remain imperfect, impetuous, and unreasonable, not to mention, overly emotional at times. In a community, love is the bond that holds relationships together when disappointments arise. Only a coward dwells on his hurts, running them over and over like instant replays in his mind, while, simultaneously avoiding the one individual capable of salving his wound. But why is conflict resolution feared? Lee explained, “We fear looking bad, even in our own minds. We fear hurt pride, repercussions from genuine discussions, being wrong, looking out of step, seeming awkward, being isolated. Not big things. Small ones. This stops us from acting courageously and therefore wisely.” Without a resolution, bitterness and resentment build up in a person; this is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.

Relationship Bombs - Relationship bombs are improper actions dropped on relationships that make simple conflict much more complex. Just as bombs in a war expand destruction to include many nonparticipants, relationship bombs expand the damage of conflict to include an entire community. There are two major types of relationship bombs—silence and violence.

Silence - The first factor that leads to silence is when a person fears confronting the conflict more than he fears dealing with the ongoing results of the conflict. The second factor that hinders conflict resolution is the near-limitless ability of human beings to deceive themselves. Self-deception allows one to place all the blame, all the responsibility, and all the need for apologies on the other party, leaving oneself only with all the hurt. The third factor that hinders relationship restoration is when people hold on to hurts to justify quitting on responsibilities or their communities. Many times, when a person is afraid to address changes needed on the inside, he seeks offense on the outside with no intention of seeking resolution. In other words, an unresolved internal conflict pours out of him and silent offenses are used as reasons to break off relationships.

Violence - The second relationship bomb— violence— is endemic to our violent modern culture. People either attack others physically or practice the more cowardly version: assassinate others’ reputations through gossip. In the Bible, character assassinations are just one level removed from an actual assassination.

Communication Triangulation - When dealing with a conflict, don’t fall victim to communication triangulation, a vile process where people attempt to draw others into gossip from their unresolved conflicts. As Joseph Stowell writes, “The ‘juicy morsels’ stay with us, permanently staining our perceptions of and appreciation for those about whom we are hearing. The vicious chain of gossip continues until it finally comes up against someone willing to stop spreading information about feuding factions and start praying. Only then will the fire die down.”

The Five Steps for Conflict Resolution

1. Affirm the relationship.

2. Seek to understand.

3. Seek to be understood.

4. Own responsibility by apologizing.

5. Seek agreement.

Read more with Woodward, Orrin. RESOLVED: 13 Resolutions for LIFE .  . Kindle Edition.

Life Skills:

Faith, Family, Fitness, Finances, Friends, Fun, Following, Freedom; we call these the 8F’s in life.

Many of these categories can tell one where their priorities are in life by measuring the time one would spend in one of the above categories. I know we don’t have it all figured out, but we have a lot of great sources that speak into these items and we welcome your comments. Please feel free to drop us a line concerning any of them.

THE DAILY DOZEN - LISTEN

This year we are going to use this concept to explain 1 word per month that if made into a habit, we believe your life will, no doubt, improve.

Listen to learn. Listen to your children, listen to your spouse or significant other, and listen to nature.

LISTEN MORE EVERYDAY

Notable quotes: They are italicized above.

Something I want you to know:

Work your tradeoffs, develop curiosity, learn to deal with conflict and listen up!